I was looking at potential gift ideas for Christmas on Amazon and found this review for an electric razor/groomer and very quickly found myself falling off my chair laughing - enjoy!

63 of 71 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A great ball-bag and arse hair trimmer- but think of the consequences before you get carried away! 24 May 2012
By Wayne Redhart TOP 1000 REVIEWER VINE VOICE

Amazon Vine Review:

Downstairs grooming is not something that I had granted prior consideration to the thought of ever attempting- but it would have seemed silly to turn down the opportunity to explore new horizons.

I was initially a little tentative about the potential perils of excavating my crack with buzzing machinery but (with mind and buttocks alike becoming progressively more open) I was soon waving the thing around with a positively gay level of abandon.

Although I had doubted whether there might be anything significant to differentiate between this and the side-burn trimmer of a regular shaver, the thin teeth really do allow for confidence. Indeed, after just a brief experiment with my shaver, opaque red liquid was to flow freely from a small breach to the scrotal hull. Returning to this device, not even the most haphazard of technique was able to bring about a secondary source of blood letting- although there's not a hope in hell that I'd be persuaded to use the Gillette blades down there! The clippers couple a more than close enough shave, with a good deal more peace of mind- compared to a giant cluster of razors.

Anyway, since grooming, things are feeling pretty good and the benefits continue to accumulate. Post-defecatory wiping is easier to perform and places considerably fewer demands upon the earth's resources, in order to finish the job. There's something quite liberating about the way paper glides across a smoothed surface (although, when in public, you'll need to be wary of how resolutely the act of breaking wind can project around a crowded lift, say- without the aid of nature's resonance-damping muffler). It's also far easier to dry oneself after a shower, once those last few stubborn pockets of moisture have been robbed of their usual foothold. My bottle of talcum powder has since become little more than an obsolete relic of times gone by.

However, I could not personally recommend giving yourself the full works, down below. Personally, I made a point of retaining an adequate old tuft, like a kind of pubic fringe. After all, where else are you supposed to produce/store a thick soapy foam, that can be transferred about the rest of the body during a shower? Perhaps the current popularity of the fully shaven look explains why one sees so many of those puffy washing thingies (that they attach to bits of string), these days. However, I'd sooner be at the helm of a traditional pubically generated lather, any day of the week.

EDIT- I've been wondering about the issue of skid-marks. Being hairless means that you don't have to worry about inadvertently smearing dirty leftovers into your anal beard (which can be a particular problem if you're in the habit of failing to answer a call of nature, before having already allowed the "turtle's head" to poke through). As most chaps will know, on a sweaty summer's day this can turn the stragglers into a dangerous time-release mechanism, that slowly but surely offloads its contents into the fabric of your underwear. However, assuming that you are able to ensure cleanliness of your hairs after passing a stool- maybe it could equally serve as a impenetrable barrier between potential anal seepages and pants? The results have been inconclusive so far, but I've just ordered a job-lot of white Y-fronts for the sake of further research.

hahaha Scrotal Hull hahahaha

Lol,
Steady Eddie