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Topic: Joke thread! | |
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Author | Message |
IvIi$$
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 982 |
Posted: May 28 2005 at 12:01pm |
why do mens hearts beat quicker, go weak in the knees, get dry throats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing??? because she smells like a NEW TRUCK!!!
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Give me liberty or give me death.
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IvIi$$
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 982 |
Posted: May 28 2005 at 12:02pm |
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws.
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Give me liberty or give me death.
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SIZZLE
*Forum Stalker* Joined: November 06 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 427 |
Posted: May 28 2005 at 2:40pm |
this is a funny joke my friend just sent me. dont be offended if your french . An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??" American (in a bad mood): "Of course." Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence. The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" American: "Of Course." Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states." After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?" Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course." American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France." |
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Lynn
*O.B.C*Team Member I love Dan! Joined: June 09 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1071 |
Posted: May 28 2005 at 2:52pm |
lol
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thorgal
*Forum Junkie* Joined: February 02 2005 Location: France Online Status: Offline Posts: 121 |
Posted: May 29 2005 at 3:35pm |
great one sizzle ! ill translate it for my french colleagues at work !!!
lol |
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**GAF**|Joe|
Noob* Joined: February 22 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3 |
Posted: May 29 2005 at 4:22pm |
ehehehehehehehe !!!! nice........... |
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HitMa
*Forum Stalker* Joined: March 03 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 662 |
Posted: May 30 2005 at 12:41am |
OMG...the last line is ROTFL good....nice Joke Sizzle...keep 'em coming...
HitMa |
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RIP Kevin Brown 25 SEP 07
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Cold Metal
*Forum Addict* Joined: November 01 2004 Location: Netherlands Online Status: Offline Posts: 132 |
Posted: May 30 2005 at 9:55am |
LMFAO ROTFL Really good one Sizz!
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Hey My Brother From Another Mother
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SIZZLE
*Forum Stalker* Joined: November 06 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 427 |
Posted: May 30 2005 at 11:27am |
ty guys ill try to find another one to match it
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GhostFace
*Forum Addict* Joined: July 13 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 235 |
Posted: May 30 2005 at 12:28pm |
nice one sizzle i told that to my friends and they couldn't stop laughing
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FREE THEM ALL!!!!!!
FREE THEM ALL!!!!!! FREE THEM ALL!!!!!! FREE THEM ALL!!!!!! |
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IvIi$$
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 982 |
Posted: June 07 2005 at 9:45pm |
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her own way.... Things are going to get ugly! |
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Give me liberty or give me death.
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hellraiser
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: November 13 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 695 |
Posted: June 07 2005 at 10:01pm |
lol.. nice one miss
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