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IvIi$$
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 982 |
Posted: December 21 2004 at 6:39am |
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A+" |
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Give me liberty or give me death.
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*DARK*$HoT YoU
Groupie* Joined: January 09 2005 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 10 |
Posted: January 09 2005 at 2:45pm |
Ok i got 1.
3 guys are on the empire state building getting drunk and 1 says I bet i can jump of this building and not hit the ground to 1 of the guys. He replies 'Ok you go first.' So he jumps off and doesn't hit the ground and then the other jumps and hits the ground and dies. The 3rd guy says 'super man why you so mean when your drunk.' |
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Nightbringer
*Forum Junkie* Joined: November 20 2004 Location: Wales Online Status: Offline Posts: 163 |
Posted: January 15 2005 at 3:56pm |
lol., funny., i would post some jokes, but irish people tend to get offended., ah well, Sith n moley can take a joke right? two irish blokes, Paddy n Murphy Paddy n Murphy throwing stones at the floor, Paddy missed |
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Nightbringer
*Forum Junkie* Joined: November 20 2004 Location: Wales Online Status: Offline Posts: 163 |
Posted: January 21 2005 at 3:11pm |
Paddy and Murphing are landing a plane, paddy says to murphy " gosh look how short that run way is" Murphy replies " its pretty darn wide too aint it" |
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KamiKaze
*Forum Addict* Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 104 |
Posted: January 24 2005 at 3:07am |
LMAO. G1s. This is very old to me, I dunno if yall heard it tho. Here it goes. Guns DONT kill people. Husbands who come home from work early do. |
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Stay Real, Stay True. Know where you're comin from so you'll know where you're going to. Don't sing it, BRING IT! |
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Jizzle
*Forum Junkie* Joined: November 11 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 49 |
Posted: February 01 2005 at 9:37pm |
OK..The superman JOke.was a revised Version heres the real Version
3guys were getttin drunk in the empire state building and the first guy says the the second guy i bet i can jump out this window and the up draft will pick me up and throw me in the 23rd floor window. The second guys says no way! I wannna see it. So the first guy jumps and sure enuff the updraft picks him up and throws him in the 23rd floor. he comes back up and says see.hes like i dont belive you do it again. so he jumps and again the updraft picks him up and throws him in the 23rd floor window. He comes back up and the second guy says im gonna try it...jumps out the window and dies of coarse and the third guy says Superman....Your an asshole when your drunk lol. |
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It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it. Just remember one thing, I came, I saw, I conquered |
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haStyle
*Forum Stalker* Joined: July 18 2004 Location: France Online Status: Offline Posts: 443 |
Posted: February 04 2005 at 3:33am |
translation from French...sry if not accurate...
John and Ted are talking about their craziest memories (no comment) John says Superman was flying over the city... when suddenly he sees Wonderwoman naked, liing on her back, freakingly hot at the top of a skyscraper, so he uses his super look to zoom in and she is all ready to get... so of course he gets a super erection and flys down to Wonderwoman at superspeed... Ted says And Wonderwoman was hurt ? John says No, Wonderwoman wasn't hurt at all... ...but the invisible man was ;-) if you guys wanna write it a better way feel free, I d be glad to have a good English version |
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OMG joined this forum in 2004, I am old ! |
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Jizzle
*Forum Junkie* Joined: November 11 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 49 |
Posted: February 04 2005 at 3:43pm |
Here my version of the superman story. Super man was flying around one day and he couldnt help notice that Wonderwoman was tanning naked on top of the Empire state building. So he thought to Him self ill be super fast and Get me a Piece of Wonder @$$. SO he flies down gets some and flies off and wonder woamn didnt even know what had happened all she heard was a grunting noise. So she asked, Is everything alright? And Invisibale man says no i think i have just been raped in the @$$. |
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It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it. Just remember one thing, I came, I saw, I conquered |
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IvIi$$
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 03 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 982 |
Posted: February 21 2005 at 11:09pm |
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 9 Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole. |
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Give me liberty or give me death.
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Conan
*O.B.C* Team Member Joined: June 04 2004 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 3228 |
Posted: February 26 2005 at 2:40pm |
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
<> Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. " Do you really think rubbin g a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. |
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"The leftists cannot think for themselves...they have already given into the spirit of collectivism"
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Avner
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 04 2004 Location: Israel Online Status: Offline Posts: 198 |
Posted: March 05 2005 at 1:18am |
This is one is a riddle, didn't find any better place to post it, and didn't want to open a new thread just for that: John and Mike meet on the street after not seeing each other for 20 years. John tells mike he has a riddle for him: "The multiplication of my 3 kids' ages is 72, and the summary of their ages is like the number on the building across, what are the ages of my 3 kids then?" Mike thinks for a couple of minutes then replies there are not enough data to solve the riddle and ask for another piece of information. So John adds: "Well, I love the little one the most". What are the ages of the 3 children? |
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Avner
*O.B.C*Team Member Joined: June 04 2004 Location: Israel Online Status: Offline Posts: 198 |
Posted: March 05 2005 at 11:17am |
^^^^^^^^^^^ CHECK OUT THE RIDDLE FIRST ^^^^^^^^^^
OK, Here's the solution: First, we need to find all possible multiplications of 3 numbers that will give us 72.
3X4X6=72 3X3X8=72 2X6X6=72 2X4X9=72 1X8X9=72 3X2X12=72 1X3X24=72 (Having hard time to believe something like that would actually happen lol)
Once we did that, lets think why did Mike say he doesn't have enough data. Mike looks at the building across, and see the number of it. He knows that the multiplication is 72 and that the summary is X. Than, what is the problem? Probably there are 2 possible answers. Lets sum up the numbers we wrote down before:
3+4+6=13 3+3+8=14 2+6+6=14 2+4+9=15 1+8+9=18 3+2+12=17 1+3+24=28
Mike say there are not enough data because there are 2 possible answers. Then John adds the fact that he loves the little one the most, that means John has a younger child. Therefore, the right answer is 6,6,2 Edited by Avner |
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